Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Environmentally unfriendly


Angel gave me a plant. I know! Why me? I asked the same question. Apparently she got a whole bunch of plants in addition to all of the flowers that were sent to the funeral, and she claims that she can't kill all of them, only one or two.
In my experience, it is quite easy to kill a lot of plants. Forget they are there! Problem solved. Better yet, you could always just throw them out. But that's not being environmentally friendly.

So, she has given plants to several people. Now, I am kind of excited to have this plant. I have a goal to not kill it for at least two weeks. Those of you who know me very well know that I have trouble keeping things alive. Well, things that don't cry or whine or bark when they are hungry. Basically, I kill plants.

First there was the bamboo. Didn't know you could overwater bamboo. Apparently you can.

Then there were the plants from Mike's parents farewell. Sure didn't know that there were plants in three different rooms. I never went in those other two, so I didn't know they were there. By the time I found them they were crispy little critters. Can a plant be a critter? Well, they sure were crispy!

Then there was the bonsai. I didn't know it was upstairs in the master bedroom. Mike found it. It was almost dead. I watered that dang plant religiously. I was such a good tender. My mom came over and told us it was dead and we needed to get rid of it, but I knew better. It was growing new leaves. It couldn't be dead! Well, it died a couple months later. We think it had root rot, because I only missed one afternoon of watering, and that couldn't possibly have killed something that missed several weeks worth of water months before. Poor bonsai.

Then there were my little seedlings. I wanted to start a garden. Wal-mart had this great kit for sale, so I bought it. I also bought a "grow your own strawberries" kit. I tended those little seedlings really well. The strawberries I moved around the kitchen so they could always have sunlight. The seedlings I put on a heating pad for growing things, and made sure they had water. The herbs did really well. The flowers never sprouted. The strawberries never did either. Then the herbs broke down and died. I was sad. I went to throw away my sad, dead little seedlings. As I dumped the strawberries out of their pot, I noticed some green. Yes, I am a strawberry killer. It had been almost a month since I had planted them. You'd think something would have pushed through in a month!
Anyway, I am hoping to keep this plant alive. I'll let you know. It may be dead by next Friday. Unfortunately, I am a plant killer. There's no denying this fact. The evidence above is irrefutable. I am environmentally unfriendly. Not by choice. It just happens to be that my thumb is definitely NOT green. So sad.

1 comment:

kathi d said...

My view on house plants is that I don't need one more thing that I am responsible for keeping alive. Back in the '70's we had a zillion houseplants in home-made macrame plant hangers, and that was enough to give me nightmares for life. I have done my time.