Friday, August 7, 2009

A moment

Today I had one of those moments....

You know, the ones where I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't dropped out of college to work full-time.

What would I have majored in?

Would I have stuck with nursing? Or switched back to Education? Or gone to English? Business? History? Accounting? Political Science? Economics? What?

Then I wonder what would have happened if I had finished my medical transcription class. Would I be doing that? Would I even be able to do that with my laptop speakers blown (courtesy of the course, thank you very much!)

Then I thought about what I want to be "when I grow up." I say "when I grow up" because technically I am grown up. I have a family and I own my own business. That means I'm a grown up, right?

I love what I do, don't get me wrong, but there are so many "what ifs" that it bugs me sometimes.

What if I went back to school? Would I be able to stick with it and finish and get a degree? Would I even use the degree? What would I go back for? Business? Nursing? Respiratory Therapy? Accounting? Law School?

You know, when I was little, and thought I could actually get into Yale (hahahahahaha as if that ever would have happened) I thought I would become a lawyer. Never mind that there are a gazillion and a half years of schooling involved with that!

I seriously thought I could do it. Now, though, as I approach my court date at the end of the month, I realize there is no way in Hades that I ever would have been a good lawyer. I hate confrontation. (Some of you are snickering...but really, I am all talk and no fight) I am terrified of meeting this woman in court asking for my money back. I know I'm in the right, but it still scares the **** (insert expletive of your choice) out of me.

Anyway, isn't it funny to look back on your "dreams" and realize how silly they were? Okay, so most of you have accomplished your childhood dreams, but seriously, I have no idea how a teenage girl thought that there was any way she was getting into Yale (or Harvard was the back-up) with no money, no connections, and a B+ average (courtesy of the math and science department. I am definitely not analytically inclined. Math, especially Calculus, makes absolutely NO sense to me, as does physics. Or chemistry.)

Okay, so now that I've wondered that out loud, I am going to get on with my night. It's nearly midnight and I still have a ton of work to do: a quilt to bind, a quiet book page to finish. Yeah, I think I'm screwed. All nighter? Yeah, sounds good to me. Who needs to actually watch the parade at Salem Days? And I don't have to be awake the whole time I'm sitting at the quilt show booth, do I? haha. Yeah, I guess I'd better get working so I can squeeze in a few hours of sleep, right?

1 comment:

Kathi D said...

I think we all do the "what ifs" sometimes. We'll never know . . . but as time goes by, I get more and more sure that I'm just where I am supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to do--well, maybe I'm not supposed to be napping every afternoon, but . . .

I'm with you on hating the confrontation and court thing--and I'm married to a lawyer!